Things to do before I die

March 26, 2009

Inspired by a fellow forumite on my favourite parenting forum (, I have decided that tonight I will manifest a list of things I want to experience before I die.

I have to say, this list would be different if I wrote it yesterday, or tomorrow, or next week. I’m quite mercurial like that. So this is mostly a reflection of my mood and what is resonating for me at this particular moment.

* I would like to travel various parts of the globe in a way that enriches myself and helps me connect and contribute to the communities I encounter. WWOOFing (Willing Workers on Organic Farms) and volunteering appeal to me, as does backpacking. I would like to do this while my children are still young, but old enough to fully embrace the experience and integrate it into their own worldview. Places I would really like to experience are Papua New Guinea, Indonesia, India, Northern Africa, France, Spain, Guatemala, The Amazon, Haiti, Cuba and Hawaii.

*I want to go to the Woodford Folk Festival, and Bluesfest in Byron Bay (which I will be doing in twenty something days).

*I want to learn to fire dance and belly dance.

*I want to expand Birth Healing into a more functional and holistic service for those recovering from birth trauma.

*I want to see major birth reform, and a paradigm shift back to birth as women’s business and natural- I want to see my future daughters/and or daughters in law birth not in a system, but in a cocoon of love and family.

*I aim to be more politically active.

*I want to make a major shift and start respecting my body as universal gift. This is something of obvious import, that I am and have been blocking for some time.

* I would like to get a tattoo of the tree of life, and Bodhi’s name and any further children in some kind of script. Just cos I think it looks cool. I’d also like to get my nose pierced again, and have dreads again, but longer and more successful this time.

*I would like to nurture my spiritual side a lot more, with meditation and cultivation of inner peace and all that comes with it. As part of this, balancing being and doing.

*I want to be involved in my children’s education through Steiner Schooling.

*I feel that there are two more little souls out there calling me to take them into my womb and bring them earthside, one of which is starting to call quite insistently. Before I fall pregnant again though, I will work through the remainder of Bodhi’s birth trauma, and then prepare my body, mind and soul for this blessing.

*I am looking forward to finishing my current Advanced Diploma course, and then eventually (after a break) going on to finish the last four modules of the degree. I’d then like to go on to do an honours and possibly masters in social science or sociology.

*I would like to do a doula course and perhaps a childbirth educator course along the way.

*The above two goals are to facilitate my career path as a counsellor specialising in birth and traumatic birth experiences, and the parent/child  dyad in the early years.

*My childhood dream was to be  a novelist, and that’s still very strong. I’d like my writing, whatever form it manifests in to provoke thought and social awareness.

*Dan and I both want to live in an intentional community, but I would prefer to be a founding member of one, to see the community from intention to fruition. Dan’s not so fussed, as long as there’s a good garden.I envision a place of creativity, sanctuary, connection and nurturing.

*Moving to Bellingen- our soul home- is resonating high, and will be happening in a few months time, if our plans work out.

What a beautiful life vision!

At this point, I think it would be timely to reflect on a previous post, ‘My hopes for the year”:

I do feel that I am beginning to slow down somewhat, and embrace the moment more, especially since attending the “Birth into Being” workshop and coming to realise I already have full worth just as a universal being. I can tap into that divine energy sometimes, but more often that not I am getting overwhelmed with the little things, and a greater sense of negativity than I usually operate at. Non-violent communication- well, not so much. I am having internal conflict about relationships with a couple of people in my life, and this is reflected in my interactions with them, but I also have a sense that sitting with this is an important part of working through it mindfully and successfully.

I have weaned off the medication, and it was an incredibly shitty journey. The rest of the wellbeing related items, as alluded to earlier, is still to be enacted.

I feel that I am mostly doing well in walking with Bodhi on his path. He has certainly found his will of late, which can at times be frustrating for us both, but I feel we are negotiating this respectfully. Watching him grow and learn is a constant source of joy, and I am, as always, honoured to be his mama.

I am currently working on the expansion of Birth Healing after a period of consultation with some wise and helpful Birth Healing mamas.

I am very close to completing my course, 15 out of 96 assignments to go, and onto my second field placement, which I am doing at the Manning River Steiner School with a focus on child development.

I haven’t done anything on my ‘just for fun’ list, although I will be dancing and grooving at Bluesfest in two weeks time!

Both Dan and I have extended our network of friends in Bellingen, every time we go there we seem to attract more like souls. I feel so blessed to have that circle of love to walk into when we get up there.

Dan and I continue to have a mostly blissful relationship. We celebrated our third wedding anniversary yesterday, and have been together nearly seven years, and I love him with more depth and richness than ever before.


4 Responses to “Things to do before I die”

  1. Nalin said

    Oh, wow, that is a nice list.

    Bellingen, what a nice place, and it sounds like it is calling you, with a circle of living people at the ready. How wonderful for you all!

    Blessings for you on your journey through your amorphous and delightful list.

  2. Nalin said

    Loving is what I meant, although presumably they are living also. ;P

  3. gaiaschild said

    I received the following comment from ‘DR’ tonight, unfortunately after reading and responding I accidently deleted both, so am re-posting a copied and pasted version. The following words are those of ‘DR’ and my response follows (my apologies to DR).

    It is my belief that without the so called system that delivered your Son, you would have perished during child birth. Had you been at home in your apparent little safe haven, you would have ended up calling an ambulance anyway o take you to THE SYSTEM. Why is your birth opposed from anyone elses birth so traumatic, Woman have been doing it for hundreds of years without having to form stupid soppy groups to get sympathy… Suck it up for fucks sake your not the first nor will you be the last Woman to give birth… Little hint…if you didnt weigh 5 tonns and maybe did a little exercise, your body that is your temple would have been able to deal with it better. As for having 2 more, it seems to me that you can not cope with the one you have so I suggest you think really hard about that one…Please dont expose your child to any more ridicle than he is allready going to recieve by raising him in a peadahile infested commune, you only want to go their so you can have 50 other p
    running around after you as apposed to just your Husband so you wont have to lift a finger, hey imagine it, you sitting on a dirty poncho on the grass complaining about how traumatic your childbirth was while everyone else, including the peadaphiles, raise your kids. Take responsibility and raise your own children and for fucks sake grow up and face reality….DR

  4. gaiaschild said

    DR, thank you for your comment. Obviously this is something that you feel passionately about, and that you have spent the time to respond shows that you feel so vehemently about the issues in my blog. Accordingly, I would like to spend some time to respond to your comment.
    It is my belief that without the so called system that delivered your Son, you would have perished during child birth
    I don’t believe I would have died in childbirth. Neither do I believe my son would have. Firstly, if birthing at home, I would have hired an independent midwife, who I would have requested use a doppler or similar non invasive system to monitor my son’s heartbeat that didn’t involve my own movements being restricted, so that I would have been free to adopt a position that is conducive to labouring, rather than the supine position I had to take at hospital. As such, with this monitoring, if my son did show signs of foetal distress, then yes, I would have transferred to hospital for emergency treatment- most likely, if foetal distress was apparent- a caesarean. Whilst this may have been traumatic- certainly, the fear of a child dying is one of the most horrific things a mother can go through- in some ways it would be resolved differently.
    In my particular case, my baby was never in distress. Neither, does it appear, was he in imminent danger from infection. This I cannot know for sure right now, although I am consulting a trusted midwife friend to just how my birth played out, and to find out how warranted the medical treatment was. I acknowledge that some things I won’t ever know, and I accept that. But to take responsibility for myself, and for my child’s birth, understanding these things is integral.
    Why is your birth opposed from anyone elses birth so traumatic
    I believe you may have misunderstood me here. I don’t believe my birth was, opposed to all others, traumatic. What I do acknowledge is that currently in Australia, studies have shown that 53.8% of women describe their births as traumatic, and 6.3% of women sustain Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from birthing. Some of this trauma will be sustained from life threatening complications and/or stillbirths, and there is also a per centage (which, anecdotally is high) that is from substandard care that does not take into account the needs of women and most importantly, their babies and how birth can effect a child physically and psychologically.
    Woman have been doing it for hundreds of years
    They certainly have. The difference being, that in the last hundred years or so, the vital continuum of birth where the woman and baby is cared for by one or more trusted, familiar and experienced midwives and birth attendants, in an environment that is quiet, respectful and dim (so as not to stimulate the neocortex in the brain which through bright lights, being engaged in conversation and so forth brings about a response in the body to stall labour) has been interrupted. Thankfully, we now have the technology to save the lives of many babies and mothers that may have died in childbirth back then, but we also are yet to find a balance between the paradigms of risk and wellness.
    if you didnt weigh 5 tonns and maybe did a little exercise, your body that is your temple would have been able to deal with it better
    I am not at a weight that is medically indicated to show hindrance in labour, I do exercise daily, and the reason my son was delivered via caesarean was not due to my weight.
    As for having 2 more, it seems to me that you can not cope with the one you have so I suggest you think really hard about that one
    One thing I have been blessed with in this experience of birthing and early mothering, is the lessons and awareness it has brought me regarding childbirth and bonding with and raising a child in a loving, respectful way. As such, I believe whilst it will no doubt be difficult, I am more prepared for birth and motherhood next time around, I have more knowledge, a greater support network, and more love for myself and my children.
    Please dont expose your child to any more ridicle than he is allready going to recieve by raising him in a peadahile infested commune, you only want to go their so you can have 50 other people running around after you as apposed to just your Husband so you wont have to lift a finger
    I feel confused at this comment- I’m not sure at what the ridicule you describe will be directed, but I am interested to know. However, that aside, I do think you have misunderstood my parenting style completely, or have not read other posts on my blog that address this. I and my husband practice connected/attachment parenting, where the most important concept is to connect will my child and respond to his needs in a respectful, healthy way that helps him learn about himself, his worth and place in the world. It is responsive, loving and takes a lot of vigilance and effort. The reason we wish to move to an intentional community is not so I don’t have to lift a finger. It is so we can live a more enviromentally and socially sustainable lifestyle, in which we are supported, connected and aware in a sometimes disenfranchised world that takes many things for granted.
    Thank you for the concern about my son’s safety. When moving onto a community, there is a long process you have to go through, where you need to meet, get to know and understand the philosophies of the individual community and the individuals within it. Then, you need to be sponsored, or invited, to become a part of the community. It will take time to find the right community of people we trust and feel we can fit in and get along with. So you can see, we won’t simply move onto a community full of people we don’t know and could be dangerous. Instead, it will be a mutually made decision, and we will move onto a community in which we feel safe (among other things).
    DR, I may be wrong, but I feel you have deeper issues than my own words and actions- I think that perhaps reading my blog has brought up some material from your past. If it has, I wish you much healing, love and blessing. I felt quite attacked reading your post, and if you respond to this post, I would appreciate more respectful language (such as refraining from swearing and articulating your thoughts in a less aggressive way). Your words show thought and sincerity and I believe we can discuss this in a more peaceful way in the spirit of sharing ideas and experience.

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