My husband’s cousin had a baby today. What a blessed event! It really stirs such an admiration and awe in the universe, and the mother, for me now, having been through it myself. A new little soul earthside, a new life, a new life journey. There is so much mystery and joy in that- the start of a new life journey. It fills me with so much light!

I wish so many blessings upon this little one and his new little family. That bond of family- it can be a thin but indeterminably strong thread, and I hope it is never broken, just as I hope the same for Bodhi and Zai and me. May the thread grow bigger and wrap around and around us many times as we all- little one’s family, and my own- walk through life together.

How very special!

I am continually amazed by the miracle and divinity of the human body. Especially the feminine body. Sometimes I sit transfixed, looking at Bodhi, amazed beyond words that he grew, in my body, a whole other person, from two little cells. And now he is millions of cells, all perfectly aligned, doing what they do, and he is learning and developing. He can roll, he can sit. But more than that, he is a soul and a developing personality. He is a person.

How very special that is too. Special beyond any words I can find.


Finding Your Tribe

July 7, 2008

The thing that stirs the most desire for change in me, is the seperateness of our society. Instinctively I feel that we are all too remote to each other, we need to come together. The onset of the nuclear family since the Industrial Revolution, and the subsequent breakdown of even this social structure, leaves people searching for a sense of identity and place within the “group”. But, for a significant many, there is no group.

One of the most powerful principles that underlies everything I do (or at least, I aspire for it to be) is that of community. The phrase “It takes a village to raise a child” really resonates with me. And I don’t beleive it’s true just for child raising. I think a lot of our life journeys would benefit from a more socially orientated structure. To be able to give and receive from each other, as a matter of love, and not obligation or occupation.

I think the more “primitive” societies really had this going for them and I wonder why such an “advanced” idea got left by the wayside somewhere?

I often think I would like to live in a intentional community one day and be a part of a more coherent sub society and sub culture. One where individuality is suitably respected, but balanced with a sense of self worth in what you can provide to the community.

Perhaps naively, I think a lot of society’s problems could be closer to solutions, if we were all more community minded. Not in a good deed kind of way, but as an inherent value and action of our lives.

A Sense of Place

July 7, 2008

A friend of mine settled on her new house today. I remember that feeling of elation, freedom and freshness. It was a really special time.

I don’t know how I feel about owning an apartment these days. Our fixed rate period finishes soon, and I honestly don’t know how we are going to afford a mortgage without that interest rate buffer. I have a love/hate relationship with this town too, it’s a conservative place (although there is an alternative undergroud if you know where to look). I feel a bit trapped here.

But at the same time, I’ve started to grow really fond of our apartment. It feels like a transient place, it only was ever meant to be that, until we can afford to buy a house in Bellingen (I daydream about it every day- an old house that I can make into a real hippie abode, an island in a permaculture paradise, surrounded by lovely neighbours and the resonance of that town!). But now I feel a little attached to our apartment for the first time. Maybe because it is my son’s first home.

It makes me wonder about a sense of place, and how we identify that. Up until a few months ago, my side of the bed, my little corner of the bedroom, that was my only place in the world that was just mine. A little pocket I could retreat to whenever I needed too.

Then little Bodhi came earthside, and now I sleep a majority of the night with him in my arms or at my breast, or at the very least in a cot beside me. And then, Zai and I had to change sides of the bed, and now I share my side with a cat (or two!) as well.

So I’ve lost my sense of place. Or not. Bodhi is my sense of place now, where I belong. There’s a symbiosis between us that I will never experience with anyone else (unless I have another child, and then I will experience something similar I suppose), and it won’t last forever. But it sure is beautiful now.

So it’s a wanky title. Reeks a bit of pretentiousness. But it’s just something that’s on my mind. I needed some time out, some nurturing space, this afternoon after going over some of my birth trauma. So my lovely MIL took Bodhi for a couple of hours, and I laid out on the balcony, staring at the sky, listening to the incescant noises of lawn mowers and whipper snippers, and let my my wander.

I was once told by an old boss, that people are either visionaries or activists. It still smacks to me of pretentiousness, maybe because it was originally directed at me a little pretentiously. But her message was, you are either a visionary, that is, you thrive on developing ideas and concepts; or you are an activist, and you act upon ideas.

Up until a little while ago I always saw myself as a visionary. I take delight in the creative process of idea development, of bringing together musings to conception to birth and beyond. I feel in flow and empowered as these ideas form, at my most energetic. But often I don’t get far in acting upon them.

I wondering now if maybe that label was limiting. I know how powerful our cognitions can be in defining ourselves and our actions.

Does someone need to fall into one catergory, or another? Of course not, and I was naive to think so, although it never really was much of a conscious thought. Just a vague concept at the back of my mind.

The last few months has been a time of becoming more activist inclined. Not just in a literal sense of doing more in the community and trying to bring about some kind of positive social change; but being more proactive and letting those ideas and visions come to fruition.

So this blog is part of that. I have journals and journals full of stuff I’d like to share with someone, but never do. I reflect a lot but it reflects onto no one than me. So here I am, and here are my ideas. Here is the next part of my journey~*